What is an Obituary: The Best Guide for Writing 2024

Losing a loved one is an experience that is both deeply personal and universally shared. As I sat down to write this obituary, I reflected on my grandfather’s life, a person who touched the lives of so many in profound ways.

Writing an obituary is a challenging but necessary step in saying goodbye to a loved one. It’s a tribute that honors their life and legacy and provides a platform for closure and remembrance. 

It also serves as a crucial platform to share the details of their final goodbye, ensuring that their story is remembered and celebrated by all who knew and loved them. 

Writing an obituary can be a meaningful process. It involves collecting essential facts about the deceased’s life, such as birthdate, family members, significant life achievements, and funeral service details. 

Obituaries briefly describe the person’s life and help readers appreciate the individuality of the person who has passed away. 

What is an Obituary

With an obituary, you’re reading a written announcement that shares the news of a deceased while celebrating their life. 

Understanding its purpose and how it differs from a death notice will equip you with the right expectations. In my opinion, an obituary helps us encounter loss and reminds us of our loved ones forever with love and admiration.

Purpose and Significance

An obituary formally announces a person’s passing and a touching tribute to their life. It’s not just an informative piece; it’s a carefully crafted reflection of the unique individual who has left us. 

A heartfelt obituary goes beyond listing basic facts and sharing anecdotes, achievements, and personal qualities that capture the true essence of the departed. 

It paints a vivid picture of their life, helping us remember and cherish their spirit. In the end, obituaries often provide details about funeral arrangements and suggest charities for donations, inviting the community to come together in mourning and celebration. 

We honor our loved ones through these words, offering comfort and a lasting memory of their beautiful journey.

Difference Between Obituary and Death Notice

It’s common to mistake an obituary for a death notice, yet their differences are significant. A death notice is usually concise, offering fundamental details like the deceased’s full name, date of death, and funeral arrangements. 

On the other hand, a well-crafted obituary delves deeper, weaving a narrative that honors the person’s life and resonates with a larger audience. 

While a death notice simply presents the facts, an obituary summons forth both profound sadness and heartfelt appreciation, paying homage to the individual’s distinctive path and the lasting influence they imparted on others.

Components of an Obituary

When writing an obituary, you aim to pay tribute to the departed’s life and legacy by capturing their essence through meaningful details and heartfelt sentiments.

It’s more than just a mere list of facts; it’s a testament to their journey, achievements, and impact on those around them. 

Here’s a comprehensive guide on what to include:

Full Name and Age

Begin with the full name of the deceased person, including any nicknames or maiden names that may be relevant. The age at which they passed should also be clearly stated.

Date of Birth and Death

List the full date of birth and death to provide context about the person’s life span. These dates bookend the life story you’re telling.

Place of Birth and Death

Mention the place of birth and place of death, as these locations can hold significant meaning in a person’s life story. Include cities and states to complete these details.

Names of Surviving Family

It’s important to include a list of immediate and surviving family members. You might say:
– Survived by spouse, [Name], of [City].
– Children: [Names and places of residence].
– Grandchildren and other surviving kin.

Biographical Sketch

Provide a brief biographical sketch highlighting the deceased’s life milestones, such as military service, notable career achievements, or volunteer work.

Personal Details and Milestones

Incorporate personal details such as important events, educational achievements, personal quirks, or hobbies that paint a vivid picture of the person’s life.

Special Messages and Quotes

Finish with a special message or a short prayer if it was a personal decision of the deceased or the family. Special ways they touched the lives of others can also be a touching addition.

The Formalities

The Formalities informs readers about service arrangements, ways to contribute in honor of the deceased, and any necessary legal notices. 

Acknowledgments

Begin with a section expressing special thanks to those who provided care and support. Acknowledging close friends, family, caregivers, and medical personnel is a good idea. 

A warm message such as, “The family wishes to extend their heartfelt appreciation to…” can genuinely transmit your deep gratitude.

Funeral Service Information

In this subsection, provide the details of the services with care, including the date, time, and location. This thoughtful gesture confirms that readers are well-informed about the forthcoming funeral, encouraging them to make meaningful arrangements to attend.

 For example, you might gently convey, “The family warmly invites you to join us for the funeral service on…”

Memorial Contributions

If the family prefers honoring their loved one’s memory with contributions to a memorial fund or charity in lieu of flowers, this is the perfect opportunity to share their wishes. 

Clearly express this heartfelt request: “In commemoration of [Name], the family kindly suggests memorial donations be made to…”.

This compassionate gesture ensures their legacy lives on through meaningful support for causes close to their heart.

Legal Notices

In some instances, obituaries may involve legal requirements, particularly regarding estates or public notices. If necessary, conclude with a final line here to address any pertinent legal obligations.  For instance, “Following state law, notice is at this moment provided that…” 

It’s important to remember that these formalities are more than just procedural elements; they reflect a respectful recognition of social conventions and personal choices, offering guidance to those seeking to express condolences and commemorate a beloved individual’s life.

Writing Guidelines

Structure and Ordering

An obituary commonly follows a general format. It commences with the passing announcement, followed by a biographical sketch, mention of surviving family members, and specifics regarding the funeral or memorial service. 

I recommend initiating with the first thing people should know: the departed’s full name and the date of their passing. 

Maintaining chronological order ensures clarity and coherence throughout the tribute, guiding readers through the poignant journey of their loved one’s life.

Announcement of Death

Share the full name, including their maiden name, age, and place of residence, along with the date of their passing. These details paint a more complete picture, honoring their identity and the place they called home while marking the significant moment they left us.

Life Sketch

Highlight the critical life events and accomplishments that defined their journey, employment history, and educational milestones. Share the hobbies and passions that brought them joy and enriched their lives. These details come together to create a vivid portrait of their unique story, celebrating the many facets of a life well-lived.

Family 

Include a heartfelt list of family members, honoring those who continue to cherish their memory and those who have passed before them. 

Mentioning surviving loved ones celebrates the enduring bonds of love and support while acknowledging predeceased family members pays tribute to the lasting connections that shaped their lives and legacy. 

This comprehensive list ensures that each significant relationship is remembered with warmth and respect.

Service Details

Share the time, date, and location of the funeral and memorial services, ensuring loved ones can gather to celebrate their life. Additionally, include any preferred charities for donations, allowing friends and family to honor their memory meaningfully. 

These details provide comfort and direction, bringing everyone together to remember and cherish the life of someone so dearly missed.

Tone and Language

A friendly and respectful tone is the best way to approach writing an obituary, as it honors the memory of your loved one with warmth and grace. Use language that is both accessible and respectful, capturing the essence of their life and character. 

Incorporating personal anecdotes can add a unique and intimate touch, making the obituary more engaging and heartfelt for those who read it. 

Avoid using informal language unless it is a distinctive part of the individual’s personality, adding authenticity and charm to the tribute. By blending friendliness with reverence, you create a meaningful and memorable reflection of a life well-lived.

Cultural and Regional Considerations

When writing an obituary, it’s essential to take great care in honoring cultural and regional traditions, as they profoundly influence the tribute’s content and tone.

In certain cultures, it’s customary to include a brief family history; in others, emphasis is placed on the individual’s impact within their community. 

I advise considering the specific practices of local newspapers; some may have particular submission guidelines. 

For national newspapers, adjustments to length and detail may be necessary to accommodate a broader audience. 

Examining examples of obituaries from the intended publication is advisable to gain insight into the appropriate style, ensuring your tribute resonates with sincerity and reverence.

Publishing the Obituary

The process of publishing the obituary requires careful deliberation and consideration as you strive to ensure that your loved one’s memory is honored and commemorated in a manner that genuinely befits their life and legacy.

Choosing the Right Medium

Choosing the suitable medium can significantly influence the extent to which the obituary reaches others, while various costs and logistical considerations will inevitably factor into your ultimate decision.

Local Papers

Traditionally, obituaries appear in local newspapers, offering a reach that resonates with the community where the departed lived and was cherished. However, in today’s digital age, there’s the opportunity to extend the reach even further by sharing obituaries on social media platforms or memorial websites.

These digital platforms allow for a broader audience and foster interaction and shared memories, creating a digital space where your loved one’s legacy can continue to touch hearts and lives.

Online Obituary & Funeral Home Websites

Numerous funeral homes extend the service of publishing obituaries on their websites, providing an organized hub where individuals can access essential details about the services and express condolences. 

This compassionate gesture offers a comforting space for friends and family to gather, share memories, and pay their respects, ensuring that the legacy of your loved one is honored with care and reverence.

General Format

Follow the necessary format, as outlets may have stringent word limits or style guidelines for obituaries. This ensures that your heartfelt tribute is delivered with clarity and respect, allowing it to be shared and cherished by all who read it.

Costs 

The costs of publishing obituaries can vary greatly depending on the chosen publication route. 

While placing an obituary in local papers may come with varying prices, some online platforms offer free options, providing flexibility during such a sensitive time. 

This allows families to share their loved one’s story meaningfully, ensuring their memory is honored and celebrated without financial burden.

Essential Details: It’s important to include all relevant information, such as the departed’s complete name, dates of birth and passing, and specifics about the funeral service or memorial. 

Ensuring these crucial details are included creates a heartfelt tribute that honors their life and comforts those who grieve their loss.

After Publishing

After the obituary has been published, it might feel like your responsibilities have ended, but there are a few essential considerations to remember.

Beyond the act of publication, it’s necessary to address any potential mistakes that may have occurred and verify that the tribute truly reflects the life and memory of your loved one. 

Additionally, responding to the overflow of sympathies from friends and loved ones is a meaningful way to express gratitude and acknowledge the love and support surrounding you during this challenging time. 

By attending to these details with care and sensitivity, you continue to honor the legacy of your beloved and encourage connections that provide relief and strength in the face of loss.

Updates and Corrections

If you notice an error after the obituary has been published, it is essential to take action promptly. Contact the publication to fix any mistakes, whether a minor typo or a significant omission. 

No matter how small, every detail is significant in honoring your loved one’s memory with outstanding care. Accuracy is crucial, whether you’re correcting a misspelled name or ensuring the inclusion of your spouse’s first name. 

As you engage with community groups or provide additional information, ensure your updates are communicated clearly and accurately. 

Your loved one was deeply cherished by their closest friends and community, and preserving the integrity of their memorial is a heartfelt tribute that honors their legacy with great care.

Responding to Condolences

As condolences pour in following the publication of the obituary, you’ll find yourself navigating the depths of the grieving process. It is significant to respond to these expressions of sympathy with heartfelt gratitude. 

While you may not be able to reply to every message individually, a collective thank-you note shared online or displayed at the local community center can beautifully acknowledge the overflowing of support. 

Your loved one’s closest friends and family will deeply value this gesture as they stand by your side, offering comfort and reminiscing about cherished memories together.

Doing It Yourself

Taking control to create your own or a beloved’s obituary is a decision steeped in intimacy and significance. It presents a poignant opportunity to sort through cherished memories, delicately weaving together the narrative threads that paint a vivid portrait of their life.

This profoundly intimate undertaking allows you to enrich the tribute with heartfelt anecdotes, profound reflections, and tender sentiments that authentically reflect the essence of the departed.

DIY Obituary Writing

Writing the obituary allows you to impart the narrative with an exceptional personal touch. It’s an opportunity to modify every detail to perfectly capture your loved one’s essence and legacy.

From selecting the most cherished memories to crafting the language that echoes most sincerely, you have the power to shape their story with the highest care and authenticity.

Begin with a heartfelt, step-by-step guide to tenderly structure your tribute. This lovingly crafted guide will gently lead you through each phase, from the sincere introduction to the touching closing words, guaranteeing every moment is cherished and honored.

Gather a heartfelt inventory of significant milestones, achievements, and cherished relationships. Embrace this opportunity to commemorate a well-lived life by illuminating moments of joy and pride, weaving together a montage of memories that honor their legacy with warmth and affection.

Infuse your obituary with a respectful and warm tone, echoing your deep respect and affection. Making your obituary produces an emotional tribute that is uniquely genuine and heartfelt. 

This act of love is a profound testament to the life lived, resonating deeply with those who hold cherished memories and honoring the legacy with grace and warmth.

Conclusion

Composing an obituary is a way to honor a loved one and also to heal and overcome the pain of their passing. It gives us the opportunity to find comfort in their fond memories and the significant impact they had on our lives.

Hold these essential guidelines as you start on the heartfelt task of completing an obituary. 

Let your obituary be an invitation to cherish the beautiful journey of a life lived. Secure its authenticity and reverence, and introduce the unique qualities of your beloved. 

In doing so, you notify the community of a departing and unite them in fond recollection and commemoration of a life filled with meaning. Remember, each path is unique, and the approach to creating an obituary may differ significantly. 

There’s no one-size-fits-all formula; instead, allow your heart and the spirit of the individual you’re honoring to inspire your composition.